On Confessions

說什麼話做什麼事，不代表那就是本性。 -- 中島哲也

On Damage

活越久，我越不信任想法，更相信情感。 -- 路易．馬盧

Second Bill of Rights

Excerpt from President Roosevelt's January 11, 1944 message to the Congress of the United States on the State of the Union:

It is our duty now to begin to lay the plans and determine the strategy for the winning of a lasting peace and the establishment of an American standard of living higher than ever before known. We cannot be content, no matter how high that general standard of living may be, if some fraction of our people—whether it be one-third or one-fifth or one-tenth—is ill-fed, ill-clothed, ill-housed, and insecure.

This Republic had its beginning, and grew to its present strength, under the protection of certain inalienable political rights—among them the right of free speech, free press, free worship, trial by jury, freedom from unreasonable searches and seizures. They were our rights to life and liberty.

As our nation has grown in size and stature, however—as our industrial economy expanded—these political rights proved inadequate to assure us equality in the pursuit of happiness.

We have come to a clear realization of the fact that true individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. “Necessitous men are not free men.”[2] People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made.

In our day these economic truths have become accepted as self-evident. We have accepted, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all—regardless of station, race, or creed.
Among these are:

The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;

The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation;

The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living;

The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad;

The right of every family to a decent home;

The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health;

The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment;

The right to a good education.

All of these rights spell security. And after this war is won we must be prepared to move forward, in the implementation of these rights, to new goals of human happiness and well-being.

America's own rightful place in the world depends in large part upon how fully these and similar rights have been carried into practice for all our citizens.

For unless there is security here at home there cannot be lasting peace in the world.

waiting for godot

Let's go.
We can't.
Why not?
We are waiting for Godot.
(despairingly) Ah! (Pause.) You're sure it was here?
What?
That we were to wait.
He said by the tree. (They look at the tree)


那棵樹還有他們仰頭看樹的動作 一直以來總帶給我強大的悲感
好在冰穴裡現在多了摩卡壺
於是我想像自己端給他們一人一杯指使他們坐下來的樣子...
應該多多少少 可以降低一點等待的感覺吧？

空中花園

遠方鐵道上停著一列電車。從方形車窗照射出來的燈光成一字型整齊排開。那是行駛在我家和繪里子家之間的電車嗎？從電車上看得到這家賓館嗎？電車靜止不動，我記得這附近並沒有車站。為了看得更清楚，我從提包拿出眼鏡，手撐在窗沿上，身體探出窗外仔細看。有人從靜止車廂走下來。該不會是車禍吧？好像也有人從車窗爬出來。一整排間隔排列的車窗燈光，照映著陸續離開車廂的乘客，乘客向螞蟻似的，列隊走在漆黑的田埂上。他們像幽靈似地無依無靠，只能沿著鐵道直直地慢慢往前走。

我站在窗前凝視這一幅夢境般的景象好一陣子，直到成對的人們散去，只剩下停在鐵道上，車內依然燈火通明的電車。

空中花園 p.152

海邊的卡夫卡

每次你從新聞報導中看到那樣的洪水風景就會想到，對了，就是這樣，這就是我的心。

朴贊郁《蝙蝠》

吸血鬼是飲食習慣和生活節奏出現問題了吧

Grey's Anatomy

Grey's Anatomy太厲害。常被評為太over的第三季明明最出色，倒數幾集都得花很大的力氣才能看完，然後虛弱很久。


瀕臨破碎的靈魂，厭世的女主角，永遠在下雨的西雅圖，過度明亮的醫院。

持續迎接黑夜降臨的刺眼早晨。用盡力氣仍無法治癒的愛。

第三季節尾 最令人心碎的兩段台詞


1. "I am a heart man." 心臟科主治醫師Preston的結婚誓言，直到最後Cristina還是沒有機會聽到

PRESTON: "Cristina, I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there, in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. I'm a heart man. Take 'em apart, put 'em back together, hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner. My lover. My very best friend. My heart. My heart beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you... me."



2. "you are constantly leaving me." Derek請求Maradeth離開他

MEREDITH: "If you want to break up with me, so that you can see other women, just do it. Don't tell me you met another woman. Just end it, if that's what you want."

DEREK: "I can't."

MEREDITH: "Sure you can, here's how it goes. Meredith, I don't want to see you anymore. Meredith, I don't love you anymore."

DEREK: "Meredith, I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So, I'm asking you, if you don't see a future with us. Please... please just end it because I'm in it. Put me out of my misery."

我愛北京三里屯

沒有夜生活的人是對不起夜晚的，月亮反感你，並通知太陽在第二天討厭你。正如有一天，我跟狗子在三里屯喝著喝著酒，他突然頹了，縮進角落裡。我問他：狗子，喝呀，你幹嘛老往後縮呀？狗子說：要不我怎麼是生活的縮影呢，我縮慣了。

一九九八，在三里屯酒吧，一位鄉鎮企業家，望著科羅娜，高聲問服務員：「小姐，那一領啤酒多少錢？」二○○八，隨便一個東三環寫字樓的小白領，來到三里屯酒吧，不看酒單就喊：「服務員，芝華士對紅茶，套餐那種！」一九九八，在三里屯酒吧，一位城鄉結合部的帶頭大哥，坐下了就問：「咱酒吧有啥下酒菜，油炸花生米和豬頭肉有嗎？」二○○八，白溝到塘沽再到秀水假名牌越穿越像真名牌的私企豪傑，張口就問：「洋蔥圈有嗎？炸泥腸有嗎？水果沙拉有嗎？裡面多擱獼猴桃。」

三里屯十年的偉大價值就在於－中國人從愛吃糠嚥菜，一把就進步到黃油乳酪。

我愛北京三里屯，大仙 p.13

酒神

And so, my instinct at that time turned itself against morality in this questionable book, as an instinctual affirmation of life, and a fundamentally different doctrine, a totally opposite way of evaluating life, was invented, something purely artistic and anti-Christian. What should it be called? As a philologist and man of words, I baptized it, taking some liberties (for who knew the correct name for the Antichrist?), after the name of a Greek god: I called it the Dionysian.

－Nietzsche, The Birth of Tragedy

寫論文時，曾想作關於劇本裡Apollonian跟Dionysian Forces的探討，但後來怕腦袋被搞成糨糊所以中途而廢...。

說到酒神，我想我永遠都忘不了曾經夢見過祂。沈在海底，張開手迎接我，頭髮佈滿梅杜莎一樣的海蛇，沈默的凝視。

祂是一尊長滿綠藻的雕像。醒來後我才赫然想起。


那真是個既哀傷又迷離的夢。

他的月亮

對月亮所寫的文字，多半都是歌詠或是思愁。尼采對於月亮卻有偏執的印象，他痛恨浪漫的事物，所以詩人眼裡皓潔的明月，就成為他眼裡最大的謊言。

『當月亮升起時，我猜想他要生一個太陽－他如此碩大臃腫地躺在地平線上，但他是一個假裝懷孕的說謊者。我寧願相信月亮是男人不是女人，然而，他也不太像男人，這膽怯的夜遊者。真的，他心懷鬼胎地行竊在屋頂上方，靜觀這大地，對萬物一無所求。』

他斥責月亮為虛偽的「靜觀者」，自以為高尚的「無欲靜觀人生」。他說月亮的潔白就是人類虛偽的純潔知識，所以人類自比為月亮，

『我願像月亮那樣愛大地，僅僅用眼睛玩賞它的美。』

卻不知道這只是卑怯的窺望。而怯懦的眼光所及，卻多感的稱之為「美」， 他更嗤之以鼻了。


尼采的月亮像是僧侶，貪戀著大地和情人們的一切快樂，然後暴露了。慘白地站著，在曙光前。







他說，

『我的言詞是卑微、輕蔑、捲曲的。我喜歡拾取你們掉在餐桌下的殘屑，然後拿著魚刺、蚌殼和針葉刺痛你們。 』

2001-10-07

地底三萬呎

「航手蘭你看過沒？」我問小麥，「紫色的小花，開滿河邊整片時還真是哭八的美，這樣吧，等你好一點了，我就帶你去河邊看看航手蘭。」

航手蘭是奇怪的植物，花苞開始綻放，就跌落河裡，離枝以後它的花期才算真正開始，厚厚的花瓣外覆蠟質，浮在水面上永不沈沒，它的花蕊有黏性，風帶來什麼它就沾上什麼，就這樣一路招惹別人的種子，一起旅行去天涯海角，去開花，去結果。

不管漂得多遠，我跟你保證，那邊也是一樣，春去秋來，人們也夢想著海角天涯，再不可愛的人也不時會感染愛情，通常不致命，只是會犯一點癡狂，然後不停地受一點傷。

我說得太詩意了，小麥很果決地閉上眼睛。

地底三萬呎 p.65